My efforts to reorganize

Lately I have been feeling rather stagnant. So, I regorganized almost everything in my home and workspace. What a difference that makes. I now have a clear picture of what I have and what I really don't need. I was able to clear so much space and get rid of mucho clutter. I have also noticed that my bank account has benefited as well. Keeping on top of things is much easier than trying to play catch up later.
The paperwork for foster care is about 98% done and I am now getting ready for home study, which will come after the classes. I am also getting back to charting my cycles, which by the by are still weird. I estimate that I will have foster child in my home by June and will TTC by May so, get ready for a full house!

Foster update

Well, the mountain of paperwork involved with foster parent licensing is massive and I am finally making a noticeable dent. My physical is complete and the TB will be "read" this Friday. Since my training starts Feb21st, my goal is to get all of the paperwork turned in by then. I still have to get copies of my cats rabies vac. and copies of my drivers license and insurance. Oh, and I have to write a family biography. So much to do, it is kind of overwhelming
I have an announcement to make, I have a new little kitty. His name is Rocco Brian (after Rocco Di Spirito and Brian Urlacher) and he is adorable. My neice Jazmin's cat, Miss Kitty, the same cat who had Jaques and Julia had another litter in Sept. Rocco was the last cat left and would have been sent to the humane society but I could not let that happen. Our humane society is overrun with cats and they euthanize most of the new cats coming in. Rocco is not a replacement for Jaques at all, I still miss him terribly but he is helping the healing process. He is white and tan orange tabby and is very sweet and affectionate. So now I am back to four cats. I swear I am the crazy cat lady, they are going to find me 80 yrs old, dead with a million cats eating my carcass and hiding in the floorboards of my house.

The fun begins..............

So I start my foster care training Feb21st and it should be 5 consecutive Saturdays from 9am to 4pm. In the meantime there is a massive pile of paperwork, including a family biography to complete. So pretty much every moment of my life is spoken for right now. Doing this is keeping my mind off of the bad crap that has happened in the past few weeks.
I have decided that I will TTC again in a few months regardless of a foster care placement. I am just not ready to give up on a pregnancy of my own yet. I am getting out all of my baby stuff that I bought and getting the nursery ready, that is fun and again keeps my mind in a more postive place. I have alot to do to get ready for this child. Here's to a new year that hopefully gets better and better everyday!

My sweet Jaques

My baby kitty Jaques Pepin, passed away yesterday afternoon. He was just shy of 9mos old. I had him neutered this past Friday and when I brought him home, he seemed fine. However, he had a heart defect that the surgery kind of brought to the surface Wednesday afternoon. I went home early due to the weather and when I saw him, I knew something was wrong. He was panting heavily and could not move on his own. When I brought him into the vet, she gave him a diretic and tried to get him to release some of the fluid buildup but it did not work. Late yesterday afternoon, he died. I miss him so much it hurts physically. I held him for a long time and I still feel like there should have been something I could have done.

N*ew P*o*st

I decided that I would do th*is because every other blo*ger is doi*ng it and i*t looks fun*! Seriously, I am trying on my old sense of humor for a change. Same crap, different day just trying to handle it like I used to and that is with a grain of sa*t.

Warm Wishes!!

I would like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Very Happy New Year. I appreciate every one of you and the support you have given me over the past year. It is so hard to belive this year is almost over already. I have had good times and bad times this year as life goes on.
The bad times were tempered by the love and affection of my friends and family and the good times were celebrated as well.
I am officially announcing that I am going to become a foster mother. I will be training begining Jan. 21st and will taking newborn to 5 yrs old. I do hope this leads to adoption and I will be continuing to TTC on my own as well when the time is right, probably March or April.
All in all good things are coming my way. I wish for a house full of kids this Christmas, maybe St. Nick will make my wish come true by next year!!

Trying too hard

I am trying too damn hard to get into a decent Christmas mood. I am not feeling it (yet) this year. Between money, baby depression and stuff in general I am downright blue. I know there are people who are worse off than myself but damnit I feel bad. There I said it. We have a young lady here in my office who is due to give birth any moment and I feel bad for feeling bad about being jealous of her. I know my time is coming but right now all I can think about is, this time last year I was sure I would have had my baby by now.
This past saturday night I went to my office Christmas pary at a local country club. The food, drinks and music were wonderful so that was a nice break and distraction from the everyday.
Thanksgiving was at my house and it was nice to have everyone there. Anika and Mekah were the "hostesses" and were making sure everyone had drinks and plenty of food. They are so cute, I am such a lucky aunt Roxy to have SIX wonderful kids who love me so much. Donovan is on the varsity wrestling team this year and is doing great. Jazmin is heading into her last semester as a high school student and we are getting her ready for college life. Aren is a wonderful musician and artist and has a young man he is interested in dating, my brother stands at the back door and watches them so carefully when they have their little get togethers, as he has done for all of this children when they begin dating. So funny to watch! Dalton is a little heartbreaker, he is so handsome and has the cutest dimples and bright green eyes. It seems like everytime I see my nieces and nephews, they get bigger and more grown up.
Mom is doing ok. The lupus is taking it's toll as it often does in the colder months, but she is so strong and her attitude is so inspiring. She never stops encouraging me to keep trying for my baby.
Well, that is the latest quick and dirty update, I know I haven't been blogging as much as I should or commenting on others blogs but I do read them as much as I can and I keep all of you in my prayers. Thanks to all whose kind words have helped me with regards to my last blog entry.