The question that never gets an answer

Why? Why is it so easy for some people and so hard for others?
This past week I found out that a 15 year old girl that I used to babysit gave birth to a baby boy. A woman at work found out she is pregnant and can't stop talking about how she doesn't want this baby. Both of these things have put me in such a slump that I just need to vent and get it out. It makes me so damn mad that some people get the world on a platter presented to them without any effort on their part and I have to work so freakin hard for EVERYTHING I have. I know it sounds like I am just being a whiner but this is how I feel. I try so hard and I watch others get everything done for them and they don't seem to appreciate it.
I will celebrate the day I become PG and everyday of my pregnancy..morning sickness and all. I will thank God for labor pain, poopy diapers, sore nipples, hemoroids, 2am feedings and never having any money or time for myself.

Taste of Spring

Today is warm (42degrees) and rainy although I don't mind the rain. Yesterday I finally was able to get out into the sunshine. It's just a little spring teaser. I went on a bargain shopping trip with Mom and got some pretty good stuff. Every once in a while we will hit all the Goodwill and Salvation army stores in town. It's a way to have fun and not spend a lot of money. I made sure ALL my bills were paid first so this was totally guilt free.
A very special shout out to Michelle and Nick who after years of TTC, got their precious BFP with IVF. I am praying for a healthy and joyous 9mos ahead for both of them. When I read the news I cried and laughed and it felt like getting my own BFP.
Speaking of which, I have lost 10.5 lbs so far and my cycles are already getting back to "normal". I'm thinking May or June for the IUI. I am staying focused on getting healthy and doing the right things for my mind and body to prepare for my little angel.
Here's to a great week ahead for all!!!

flu

I have been so sick this past week with the damn flu. I have taken the past two days off work which is not good at all. I know I need to get well but I hate to think what I am missing when I'm gone. Flu is running rampant on the ND campus this very harsh, craptacular winter so there are a lot of us out of the office. It all started with one person coming in to work sick as a dog and bragging about her "great work ethic" because she came in to work feeling horrible. Since then, which was only two weeks ago, we have all fallen one by one. Hope everyone else if feeling well and staying strong.

Happy B-Day Mom!!!

Today is my mom's 58th b-day. I love my Mom so much it is crazy. We have always been close but this past year we have grown so much closer. Since I have been TTC I understand her so much more and having her support me through all of it has meant the world to me. I made her a dinner of her choice which was-tomato salad with fresh mozzerella and cilantro, southern fried buttermilk chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans with bacon and slivered almonds and a lemon tort with lemon custard ice cream. I think I just gained 5 lbs typing that out :) We also got to spend a little time with my youngest neice Anika who is 7mos old. We don't get a lot of time alone with her because my SIL is a little weird about controlling her children when they are babies. Oh well, that's her perogitive.
It was a good day and right now I am keeping one eye on the superbowl and I am hoping the Giants win. When my Bears aren't playing I like to root for the underdogs.
Here's to a great week filled with wonderful people and positive experiences.

About that car of yours....

Well it was about 20 below today and my car doors were frozen shut. So, I called in to work and let them know I wouldn't be in. An hour later when I got the door opened and started the car, it acted as if I were killing it. Spitting, sputtering and misfireing like crazy. So I took it down the block to my mechanic where he found that it needed new iginition (spark plug) wires which will cost me over 200$ with labor. So here I am now even more broke. CRAP!! I am so frustrated. Why can't these things be spaced out instead of happening all at once. Add to that I had to call in to a job I just started. They understood but still that does not look good.
On a different note heres a shout out to Tammy and Mark who are leaving for Hawaii on Saturday!!! You guys are so lucky to get out of this midwesten tundra. Have FUN!!!!!

Good day

Hada good day today. Just a plain old good day. Nothing spectacular happened other than AF showed up in her normal way. My car is still having issues, I'm still short of cash but I feel good. I guess I just realized that life goes on even when I have my problems. I'm sorry it took me 32 years to figure that out.

SEVEN!!!

That is how much weight I have lost as of this morning!! I guess when I really put my mind to it I can do it. Nah really, my secret is I have been taking Alli, the pill that removes 25% of the fat you eat. It was expensive but I figured it would be a good tool along with a healthy diet and so far so good. I have not had any the the "treatment effects" as they are called which it hard to control bowel movements and oily stool. I am too afraid of crapping my pants to go over my fat gram allowance LOL!!
I have also been walking from the parking lot to my office which is about a 1/4 mile instead of taking the shuttle and walking the stairs at lunch. I would be doing more but it has been subzero here for most of the past two weeks.
I have also found a great financial plan on the web and will be going by a budget that it created to get back on track within the next few months and get my ass out of debt. I have a bad habit of going shopping when the going gets rough and baby has it been rough the past several months. I got myself in over my head and will get myself out.
Every positive step it take gets me closer to my little angel. I keep saying that don't I? Well I guess it will be my mantra!