I am trying too damn hard to get into a decent Christmas mood. I am not feeling it (yet) this year. Between money, baby depression and stuff in general I am downright blue. I know there are people who are worse off than myself but damnit I feel bad. There I said it. We have a young lady here in my office who is due to give birth any moment and I feel bad for feeling bad about being jealous of her. I know my time is coming but right now all I can think about is, this time last year I was sure I would have had my baby by now.
This past saturday night I went to my office Christmas pary at a local country club. The food, drinks and music were wonderful so that was a nice break and distraction from the everyday.
Thanksgiving was at my house and it was nice to have everyone there. Anika and Mekah were the "hostesses" and were making sure everyone had drinks and plenty of food. They are so cute, I am such a lucky aunt Roxy to have SIX wonderful kids who love me so much. Donovan is on the varsity wrestling team this year and is doing great. Jazmin is heading into her last semester as a high school student and we are getting her ready for college life. Aren is a wonderful musician and artist and has a young man he is interested in dating, my brother stands at the back door and watches them so carefully when they have their little get togethers, as he has done for all of this children when they begin dating. So funny to watch! Dalton is a little heartbreaker, he is so handsome and has the cutest dimples and bright green eyes. It seems like everytime I see my nieces and nephews, they get bigger and more grown up.
Mom is doing ok. The lupus is taking it's toll as it often does in the colder months, but she is so strong and her attitude is so inspiring. She never stops encouraging me to keep trying for my baby.
Well, that is the latest quick and dirty update, I know I haven't been blogging as much as I should or commenting on others blogs but I do read them as much as I can and I keep all of you in my prayers. Thanks to all whose kind words have helped me with regards to my last blog entry.
ABOUT ME
- Roxymommy
- Age 33. Single, Native American hot chick (hence the blog title). I am a left wing, liberal, treehugging Democrat. I have made the choice to become a single mother and am doing so as a foster parent. I will go head on to put the most at risk children first. This is my place to share my journey. I hold nothing back, whether it be joy or heartbreak.
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1 comment:
(((HUGS))) This is a rough time of the year for us infertiles. I normally love Christmas, but have been really down this year. We're all here for you sweetie.
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