This is my place to share my journey to becoming a mother and anything else that is going on in my life. Welcome!!


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Age 33. Single, Native American hot chick (hence the blog title). I am a left wing, liberal, treehugging Democrat. I have made the choice to become a single mother and am doing so as a foster parent. I will go head on to put the most at risk children first. This is my place to share my journey. I hold nothing back, whether it be joy or heartbreak.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

All I can say is......

Damn I'm tired. I took my nephew to his wrestling tourney downstate today. We had to leave the house at 4am (I am not a morning person). It was wonderful spending time with him and he placed 3rd. This gives me some idea of the lack of sleep I will be dealing with when baby comes. Speaking of which, I am a little concerned about the money aspect. I have been shorted on my paychecks a couple of weeks and have gotten somewhat behind on my savings. I want to be able to continue to try AI if the 1st doesnt take. But I can't think like that,I have to stay positive and believe that the best will happen for me. I know that sounds all hoo hoo spiritual but I truly believe that there is a little baby waiting to take it's place in my womb. This decision was too easy to make to think otherwise.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Sunny Skies!!!!!!!!

I just read the message board on the NW site. My GOD two women got their BFP's!!!! I can not believe how happy I am for them. I know this journey is just starting for me and I am more than ready to go. I love that I have a place to go to talk about this. Not many people around me, friends or family would understand. My Mom knows what I'm doing and is nothing but supportive and encouraging. I can ask her anything and she is already buying baby things for me. My brother, on the other hand, not so much. He thinks I should not do this "alone". OK whatever. The weather is so beautiful today 81 and sunny. I don't want to go back to work tomorrow but of course I will. I know that I am lucky to have such a great job and this my baby money were talking about. I'm still doing the workflow project and it is sweet. Nothing much else this week other than taking care of myself. I am trying to lose 15 or 20 lbs. before I AI. I know it is important to be healthy but I jumped off the skinny bandwagon years ago and have no plans to get back on. I know I'm all that and all phat:)!! Trying to force my curvaceaous body into a stick thin mold made me crazy. I made peace with my body and feel all the better for it. Hopefully society will catch up. I know farfetched.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Allrighty then

I'm finaly getting a slight + line on the ops this is CD16. I guess I'm just anxious to know when I ovulate. I was sitting on my patio enjoying this Indiana spring when it hit me. I am going to get pregnant this year. A strange peace came over me. This is two years in the making. I keep going back to the ttc message board and an learning more everytime. I get so caught up in all the ladies stories and I find myself sending them positive thoughts. Well, heres to a great weekend!

Thursday, April 19, 2007


Forms are in and I am registered. I have money for my 1st AI attempt in July! Otherwise everything else is normal. Doing a really cool project at work and it's going ok. Family is well. The VA tech thing is bumming me out. So many young promising lives snuffed out by a man with a severe mental illness. Why can't this country get it together and treat illness of all kinds so that I doesn't spread and hurt everyone?

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Here we go!

OPK's am and pm are negative on day 10. Spent the long weekend reading fertility books and watching a couple of informative dvd's. I want to be ready but I think maybe I'ts overkill at this point. I won't even have any swimmers until July. My brother came over today and was talking about how my prego sister in law is mad about getting fat. It's not fate its called BABY. I guess I'm just supersensitive because I'm already a bit fluffy and I can tell you that being fat is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Well, here's to a great week!

Saturday, April 14, 2007


I feel so resolved now. A calm sense of peace with where I'm at in this process. I am done with the pain medication from the back surgery and have purchased the evening primrose oil, an herbal tea that is supposed to enhance fertility, prenatal vitamins and O predictor stix. I should have enough cash to start AI by July as I planned. This jouney has taken nearly two years of planning and spots of disappointment when I herniated a disk in my lower back that had to be removed. I will concentrate now on charting, reducing stress and eating well. The funniest part is that I no longer give a rats ass about what anyone thinks! This is my life, my decision.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Sometimes it just hits me. I trying to get pregnant! For so long I thought it was out of my reach. Money, relationships, back problems. One thing after another. Now I'm ready. I have everything I need with the exception of unlimited cash to get started. The forms are mailed. I am charting and opk'ing. I will be starting AI by JULY!! My b-day present to myself. My back is feeling really good I am fully recovered from the surgery. I am 100% in the clear and ready to start TTC.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Really normal Tuesday. Lots of meetings same old same old. I feel like screaming out that I am going to get pregnant very soon. However,I know that this is not the best and should keep it to myself for now. Everyone else will know soon enough. My client registration forms are done and ready to be mailed on Friday. After that all need is money ( not hard to come by) and all is set. I have been researching ovulation like crazy. I know everything I ever did not want to know about the female reproductive system :) I seems like time is going by so slow. Carrie tells me that once I am confirmed prego the time will fly. We will see!

Monday, April 9, 2007

Monday Madness (not really)

Work was ok, not bad not good but very busy. I downloaded and printed my forms to register with the sperm bank. I still don't have all the money I need but I can't believe I'm so close. I will be starting the opk's in a few days and track my cycles like crazy. Timing is everything when money is not unlimited. I don't want to take months to get pregnant but I sure am willing to do anything I need to. I just keep focused on the goal. Motherhood. Last night I took out the fews baby things I have and just looked them over. This helps me to stay on task. My sense of humour is still very much in tact,I guess that is the true test of how I'm doing.

Sunday, April 8, 2007


Kind of a quiet day. My Brother and his wife just got back from FL. She is due in July with thier sixth ,yes sixth, child and no they are not legally married either. However, he feels the need to tell me that I need a man to become a mother and should not do this "alone". Whatever, he really has no idea how soon this is happening. He really does not know that I am using AI to become pregnant, I only floated the idea past him. My Mom and friend Carrie know everything and they have been very supportive. I figure this is between me, my eggs and those swimmers.
I started saving for this about a year ago. Although that money is gone, had to have back surgery. I did not know half of what I know now.This is not nearly as expensive as I thought it would be and I can take it a month at a time. I also have been charting my cylces and have a better grip on when I ovulate. I also have the feedback of the NW message board. I figure it will be July or August when I do the first AI. Until then I get the great freakin joy of watching my dear SIL pound out her sixth baby and now every woman at work seems to be prego. Well, sooner or later it will be me!