This is my place to share my journey to becoming a mother and anything else that is going on in my life. Welcome!!


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Age 33. Single, Native American hot chick (hence the blog title). I am a left wing, liberal, treehugging Democrat. I have made the choice to become a single mother and am doing so as a foster parent. I will go head on to put the most at risk children first. This is my place to share my journey. I hold nothing back, whether it be joy or heartbreak.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Two more babies!!

I have two more little ones, 23 mos and 3 yrs. They have seen alot and are VERY busy little ones. This will mark their 4th placement in foster care. They do have visits with their mother. I think with a little time and putting them on a decen schedule, they should be fine. I was told this would be longer term, so here goes!!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

still a foster parent

I am still fostering and have had two more placements since my last post. I am still waiting for that adoption match and am coming to terms with my fertility issues. I am still hopeful that someday I will get pregnant and have a baby of my own.
I am so busy with fostering and work that I don't blog very much or get to visit my favorite people (hey Tammy!) but I am still around!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

One more time....

3 more children, J is 7mos a beautiful baby girl, M is 2 looks like an American girl doll and A is 8 yrs such a gentleman. This is a short term, emergency placement and my heart goes out to these kids. Apparently they were taken from the home due to "unfit living conditions". The case investigator could not even make it past the front door without gagging from the stench. Little M was eating dogfood and mom was letting her because she didn't have time to feed her real food. Yet, sadly, these children are expected to go back very soon. I can't have children naturally but these cockroaches can have as many as they want and treat them like garbage. what up God?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

waiting is hell

yes it is. I am still waiting for a child. I have told my case manager that I want only one child this time and preferably one who is a newborn with limited parental contact (adoption potential). I know this sounds heartless, but the pain of giving up the children was heartwrenching.
Work is going well, very busy and I still have the overzealous supervisior from hell. Well that's pretty much it. I wish everyone well and you are in my prayers Tammy and Mark.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

and now....

the wait begins again. I took the children home to their mother, who by the way is trying very hard to turn her life around. It hurt more than I expected. It kind of felt like the miscarriages. I am now in wait for a newborn to adopt from the foster care system.
There are a few things I have learned from this experience.
1. the foster care system SUCKS. They put foster parents and kids through hell.
2. they take forever to pay you. I had the kids for six weeks and still have not been paid yet.
3. Parenting is hard, nuff said

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


I now have 3 children. C is age 5, X is age 3 and L is 2. My life have been turned upside down and any thought of painting my toenails or brushing my hair has vanished. I love these kids and they are a challenge to say the least. They have parental visits, dr. visits, dentist visits and visits to the moon. If I didn't have my mom or Donovan I would be screwed. I have taken alot of family time off of work so now my wallet is uber empty. Buuuttt I wouldn't have it any other way. I am a mommy at last.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Good times.....

Well, I am officially a licesnsed foster parent. I am in waiting for a child and am sitting very close to my phone 24-7. I will be taking newborn to 4 years old and it could happen at any time. And I mean ANY time. My arms are empty and ready to hold that baby. I haven't really thought about TTC for a while but I am not willing to give up on that.
Things are going quite well for now. I am physically doing better, although I hernated another disc in my back. I am prone to disc issues because of a previous back injury. I deal with the pain fairly well, but being pregnant will put alot of stress on my back.
I want to take the time to congratulate those who have their babies by adoption or birth. I am so happy for all of you.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Long time no post

wow that was a looong break from posting. Here's an update in particular order
1) Foster Parenting- still waiting on the homestudy, paperwork is done and classes are complete. The nursery is done and the most gorgeous shades of yellow and green ever! I am getting exited and so ready to be a mom. I also did some renovations on the rest of the house and now am scrutinizing EVERYTHING. I should be a foster mom by my B-day in July.
2) Health- I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. It hurts all the damn time every damn where but I am taking good medication and am learning to deal with things and take care of myself first. It probably stems from my back injury a few years ago but there is no way of knowing. The bad things is the meds (lyrica) have made me gain weight so I am fighting that off as well.
3) TTC- I will be starting up again in August for sure, I need time to adjust to fostering and get my body strong again.
Let me just congratulate all the folks who are seeing their dreams come true and getting their postive EPT's and babies. For the rest of us, let's just keep trying......together.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

quick update

Just a quick update-Foster parent classes are going great, I am really learning alot and feel that I am just about as ready as I will ever be to take this on. I am getting the house and nursery ready for the homestudy.
Work is going ok. We are getting busy and stay busy on most days. I do feel like morale is pretty low and I try not to let it affect me but it does when the shit gets deep.
Physically, my back is getting worse again and it is causing a domino effect throughout my body. I have gained quite a bit of weight due to medication and lack of physical activity (from weather and back pain). I am doing everything I can to remedy this and hope to be in good condition to TTC by my b-day in July. That's all folks!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


I appreciate everyone who left a comments on the previous post. I love having a "crew" behind me.
As an update, things are going well. I had my first foster parenting class this past Sat. and it was wonderful. I really feel like things are going forward. Finally. I should be TTC by May if all goes well. But we all know very well the roadblocks that can crop up at any given moment.
My kitty Julia Child had her spay surgery yesterday. She is doing very well so far and is back to her bitchy self. No unlike her mommy at all:)

Thursday, February 12, 2009


to the person who left the last comment asking me to follow the link to the most moronic blog I have ever seen, good for you. You have the freedom of speech to say whatever idiotic thing you want. However, you don't know me or my situation. I don't believe that infertility indicates that a person should not have children. I don't believe that donor concieved children are inherently unhappy, rather, people like you make society a very unhappy place for any child or human for that matter that does not "fit" the mold. I am becoming a foster parent because I believe EVERY child deserves a loving, stable home. It doesn 't matter if that home is parented by two people or one or a family consisted of grandparents, aunts, uncles or whoever.
I am Native American, our family values extend WELL BEYOND the traditional two parent family. We truly believe that everyone in a childs life, regardless of biological ties is responsible to raising a child to be a decent person.

My efforts to reorganize

Lately I have been feeling rather stagnant. So, I regorganized almost everything in my home and workspace. What a difference that makes. I now have a clear picture of what I have and what I really don't need. I was able to clear so much space and get rid of mucho clutter. I have also noticed that my bank account has benefited as well. Keeping on top of things is much easier than trying to play catch up later.
The paperwork for foster care is about 98% done and I am now getting ready for home study, which will come after the classes. I am also getting back to charting my cycles, which by the by are still weird. I estimate that I will have foster child in my home by June and will TTC by May so, get ready for a full house!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Foster update

Well, the mountain of paperwork involved with foster parent licensing is massive and I am finally making a noticeable dent. My physical is complete and the TB will be "read" this Friday. Since my training starts Feb21st, my goal is to get all of the paperwork turned in by then. I still have to get copies of my cats rabies vac. and copies of my drivers license and insurance. Oh, and I have to write a family biography. So much to do, it is kind of overwhelming
I have an announcement to make, I have a new little kitty. His name is Rocco Brian (after Rocco Di Spirito and Brian Urlacher) and he is adorable. My neice Jazmin's cat, Miss Kitty, the same cat who had Jaques and Julia had another litter in Sept. Rocco was the last cat left and would have been sent to the humane society but I could not let that happen. Our humane society is overrun with cats and they euthanize most of the new cats coming in. Rocco is not a replacement for Jaques at all, I still miss him terribly but he is helping the healing process. He is white and tan orange tabby and is very sweet and affectionate. So now I am back to four cats. I swear I am the crazy cat lady, they are going to find me 80 yrs old, dead with a million cats eating my carcass and hiding in the floorboards of my house.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The fun begins..............

So I start my foster care training Feb21st and it should be 5 consecutive Saturdays from 9am to 4pm. In the meantime there is a massive pile of paperwork, including a family biography to complete. So pretty much every moment of my life is spoken for right now. Doing this is keeping my mind off of the bad crap that has happened in the past few weeks.
I have decided that I will TTC again in a few months regardless of a foster care placement. I am just not ready to give up on a pregnancy of my own yet. I am getting out all of my baby stuff that I bought and getting the nursery ready, that is fun and again keeps my mind in a more postive place. I have alot to do to get ready for this child. Here's to a new year that hopefully gets better and better everyday!

Friday, January 16, 2009

My sweet Jaques

My baby kitty Jaques Pepin, passed away yesterday afternoon. He was just shy of 9mos old. I had him neutered this past Friday and when I brought him home, he seemed fine. However, he had a heart defect that the surgery kind of brought to the surface Wednesday afternoon. I went home early due to the weather and when I saw him, I knew something was wrong. He was panting heavily and could not move on his own. When I brought him into the vet, she gave him a diretic and tried to get him to release some of the fluid buildup but it did not work. Late yesterday afternoon, he died. I miss him so much it hurts physically. I held him for a long time and I still feel like there should have been something I could have done.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

N*ew P*o*st

I decided that I would do th*is because every other blo*ger is doi*ng it and i*t looks fun*! Seriously, I am trying on my old sense of humor for a change. Same crap, different day just trying to handle it like I used to and that is with a grain of sa*t.