This is my place to share my journey to becoming a mother and anything else that is going on in my life. Welcome!!

ABOUT ME

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Age 33. Single, Native American hot chick (hence the blog title). I am a left wing, liberal, treehugging Democrat. I have made the choice to become a single mother and am doing so as a foster parent. I will go head on to put the most at risk children first. This is my place to share my journey. I hold nothing back, whether it be joy or heartbreak.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Winter Wonderland!!!

We are smack dab in the middle of a snow storm. It is gorgeous. I live on a somewhat main road as the other main road that leads to the mall is closed right now and the cars going by are sliding like crazy. I hope they wise up and slow down.
Jimmy and Michele just dropped by with my neice Mekah to give us a neat Florida fruit basket and the new family photos. They felt like going for a drive to see the lights and enjoy the snowfall. Have I said lately just how much I love my family? Mimi is three yrs old and the most beautiful baby in the world. But then again I say that about my other neices Jazmin and Anika as well. I am so proud of Jaz. She won a photography contest at the county level, got first place in the talent competion(dancing) at 4-h this summer and got her very first job at Glamor shots. She is such a beauty. A dancer, singer, gifted photog, animal lover and still manages to keep her g.p.a. at a 3.99. All at only 16 yrs old. I hope like mad that she will not throw it away for a man like I did at that age. Oh well live and learn.
It is this time of year that I like to reflect on the past year and see what I can learn from it and what I need to let go. The most important thing is my efforts to concieve my baby. I have learned so much about my body and spirit. I have also learned that I need to take care of this body I have been given. The back injury and surgery knocked me out and caused a domino effect in my body. I must lose this weight or I risk another herniated disk.
I need to let go of the past hurts if am to move on in a more postive way. Like most women I know I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I thought that I had moved past it a long time ago. However, I don't think I really have. Sometimes things will happen and the memories will come rushing back. I was refered to a male Dr. for the IUI and I panicked for a moment about the thought of him touching me. This is the reason I only see female M.D.'s. I also think this is a reason why I am so guarded in my relationships with men. I would love to hear how other women have overcome this.
WOW where did all that come from? I guess when I have time to think I can really let it out. LOL!!

1 comment:

twondra said...

Wow. I have no advice as I'm one of the lucky ones not to have been through that, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I hope someone has some advice for ya sweetie.